Dear Stupid Blog,
You know that grape-stomping lady? The one from that YouTube video several years back who falls over and groans in pain for, like, fifteen minutes? I hate that grape-stomping lady. Or maybe I like her and I just hate that video. It makes my everything hurt.
That kind of schadenfreude is not what Schadenfriday is about, Blog. Let’s keep it light, K? K.
My cat doesn’t seem to have much of an affinity for boxes, which is probably for the best. Otherwise I’d worry all day that she’s stuck trying to back out of Kleenex™ boxes all day while I’m at work. Which I guess might be happening anyway? Why can’t I just text her and be like, “Hey Violet, what’s up? Are you stuck in a box? Just checking. Love love.”